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Big news in this lunchtime’s press conference at Ashton Gate where manager Tim Brown unveiled his latest bit of business. Fans were disappointed to hear that one of their favourites, Nuno Santos, was heading out of the club and has signed for Newcastle United. The concerns were soon allayed however, when Brown also announced the creation of a player cloning machine that the clubs boffins have been working on for some time.
“Yeah it’s pretty simple stuff really, we brought in Brian Cox to look at matter and particles and shit like that and he’s come up with this new door idea” Brown went on to explain “ So when we sign anyone now, and in this case it was Newcastle defender Reece Burke, we get two of them. It’s brilliant!”
Officials and staff are said to be astounded by this announcement but when they turned up to look at the squad, there were indeed two Reece Burkes !
“They are just as good as each other, so they can both do a great job for us at centre back, they obviously have a good understanding of each other and we’re looking forward to fielding both Burkes straight away”
Reece Burke said “ this is great - I literally can be in two places at once so don’t let the missus know!!! And Reece is actually a great lad, I look forward to getting to know him” One of the other benefits of course is that Burke is equally comfortable of playing left back or centre back, and this way he can cover both at the same time.
Brown has revolutionised the way the club does business with this new innovation and is said to be looking to sign 2 Jude Bellinghams, a couple of John Stones and maybe even 4 Chalobahs!!!
FFO officials have not commented on this point but one would imagine that this type of technology will not be universally accepted.
“Yeah it’s pretty simple stuff really, we brought in Brian Cox to look at matter and particles and shit like that and he’s come up with this new door idea” Brown went on to explain “ So when we sign anyone now, and in this case it was Newcastle defender Reece Burke, we get two of them. It’s brilliant!”
Officials and staff are said to be astounded by this announcement but when they turned up to look at the squad, there were indeed two Reece Burkes !
“They are just as good as each other, so they can both do a great job for us at centre back, they obviously have a good understanding of each other and we’re looking forward to fielding both Burkes straight away”
Reece Burke said “ this is great - I literally can be in two places at once so don’t let the missus know!!! And Reece is actually a great lad, I look forward to getting to know him” One of the other benefits of course is that Burke is equally comfortable of playing left back or centre back, and this way he can cover both at the same time.
Brown has revolutionised the way the club does business with this new innovation and is said to be looking to sign 2 Jude Bellinghams, a couple of John Stones and maybe even 4 Chalobahs!!!
FFO officials have not commented on this point but one would imagine that this type of technology will not be universally accepted.