Sheffields Caretaker Diary Chapter1: The hand I've been dealt

[Dave Thacker]

With Kels Barkworth stepping away from management Sheff United have appointed RB Salzburg manager Dave Thacker on a caretaker basis.

Well, it’s official. I have another club to look after. I’ve thought about doing this for awhile, but I wanted to get FFO experience and get down the rhythm of sheets, transfers, and research. So much research. I blame Ed, you know.

I hit the Matchday link and checked out the table. WTF! I’m caretaking a contender for promotion! This is the opposite of the grind to get Salzburg respectable. This roster must be packed with talent. Time to open that up. Oh. Oh Dear. This is not going to be easy.

I had two initial goals as caretaker: don’t run the club into a ditch, and make it better than I found it. Using reasonable tactics and regular sheets, I think I can keep Sheffield in the hunt for promotion. However, I’m living on a knife edge. There isn’t a talent drop off after the top 11, it’s a talent precipice. Most of the backups are at the bottom of the squaddie range. Chance for improvement is…..not good. There are a few pennies (US currency) in the treasury, but no move to make a quick improvement. Behind all of this is the fact that this squad is just effing old. The roster has 13 players age 30 or older. The starting keeper is 35, and so is one of the best Forwards. If by the hand of the simulator we get promoted, we will probably have a one season run as the Premier Leagues punching bag. It will be like boxing against Bud Crawford for 38 rounds. Ouch.

So like the Rolling Stones, the Who, and lately Oasis, I’m going to get my geriatric stars through one more tour through Champ and grab all the cash I can. Follow my progress as I try to hand off a decent club for the next manager. Cheers!

[Words 336, credit to Sheffield United