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CLINICLAL EFFECTIVENESS IN FRONT OF GOAL
This is the start of needing the esms gods to help you. In theory those with the better shooting players will have the lowest score so again we see Real and PSG in the top3 places.
AC Milan do not have those players at the club so this clinical finishing explains why they finished so much higher in the league.
HOW GOOD WAS YOUR GOALKEEPER?
PSG have the best keeper in the league so it should figure that theyve come top here.
FEY played a 23-rated keeper, LAZIO played a 24-rated keeper, Leverkusen played a 24-rated keeper.
The ratings do make a difference but why Juventus 10.65 and Dortmund 7.33 both playing 25-rated keepers differ so much only the gods can say.
OVERALL PENALTY BOX EFFICIENCY
So this is your clinical finishing stat minus your goalkeepers efficiency stat. A negative number is good. You would expect those sides with the best keeper and shooters to have the minus figures so its no surprise to see PSG lead. The best 8-sides all feature fairly well apart from ROMA who appear to have been battered by the ESMS gods. JUVE, BAYERN and AC MILAN all appear to have been loved by the gods.
TOTAL ATTEMPTS ON OPPONENTS GOAL
The main thing this statistic shows is the ongoing attacking domination the best two sides in the league still maintain. More attempts on goal = more key passes, assists and goals.
TOTAL ATTEMPTS ON GOAL BY OPPONENTS
The same cannot be said of the top-2 in this category as they tend to abandon defensive duties knowing they have the greater fire-power. Here we see teams either trying to hold onto every point in a bid to close the gap at the top.
TOTAL ATTEMPTS ON OPPONENTS GOAL MINUS TOTAL ATTEMPTS ON GOAL BY OPPONENTS
This category shows the best 8 sides in the league were the only ones to gain a positive shot count over the season with the top-2 sides showing domination.
This is a really good indicator of how well your side is doing over the season, performance wise.
This table wont be far away from the actual league table. The massive anomaly to this is LAZIO who finished bottom and AC MILAN who finished 6th?
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Somebody asked for some banter.......
The Invisible Man Trophy - The award goes to none other than HAMZA SIDDIQUI. When the heinous supercrook Derek Hughes left Roma, Hamza was the man given the responsibility of taking the reins. The trophy hungry organisation expected nothing less than competing deep into each tournament. Could Hamza produce the goods? Questions were asked in the media as to whether he had done enough to deserve such a top job. Hamza remained unphased and confident in his abilities stating that the club would be in the title race. Hamza was a regular on the discord media soapbox seemingly on a high after landing the big job. We have never heard from him as much......that was until the season started and week by week Roma dropped down the league table to finish an embarrassing 10th place. The name of Hamza would be spoken of on discord but the man himself was long gone. Where has he been? The growing disappearance has directly correlated with Romas slide down the league and limp efforts in the cups. Very brief and occasional appearances from Hamza have produced excuses of "busy at work". The excuses have not washed with the awards panel so congratulations to Hamza who did at least prove the doubters wrong by landing a trophy. Unfortunately Hamza did not turn up to collect his trophy.
The Incredible Sulk Trophy - This sulk was that incredible it lasted 1/2 a season. One minute the most active member of discord with his nose in every infinite detail of the game, the next simply gone. Who knows the actual reason why but there was a direct correlation between his sides poor league form and his complete disappearance. No surprise then that his reappearance was timed with winning the Champions League. Well done to no other than Simon "Ed" Clark for making this a hattrick of trophies for the season. The big question that is now being asked is how long will Ed last before he spits out his dummy again? Not back more than 2 minutes and the self confessed Victor Meldrew is already complaining about the auction, buy it now list and the fact his immense bank balance was only increased by £2 when teams that are worth a billion pounds less got a bit more.
Rumours have it HQ legend Jon Banks will try and tempt PSG into spending some of their huge infrastructure on some much needed products for their manager.
A new range of dummies are going to appear in the FFO shop available at competitive prices
The coal miners Dummy - £10m
The Owzat Dickie Bird Dummy - £25m
The Barnsley chop flavoured Dummy - £50m
The JB everlasting Dummy - £100m
The Best Dressed Manager Trophy
Another manager who could not get enough of discord was Sam Bradwell. He too had landed a top job at Barcelona after seasons of waiting for a chance. Barcelona were fast out of the blocks topping the league table for the first quarter of the season and Bradwell was all over discord letting everyone who would listen know. However, that uncanny correlation between time on discord and league performance was again on show as Bradwell slid into the background as Barcelona slid down the league table to finish a disappointing 8th place. From the bravado of title talk and trash talking those below him to "champions league qualification - job done" in a few months was quite some come down. In fact it was a come down that Bradwell could not cope with and despite having the big chance at a big club he would announce that the pressures at the top of the game were all too high and he would be leaving to move into EFL2.
So how did Bradwell win the best dress manager Trophy? Rumours have it after tens of dozens of threats to quit football management Bradwell has turned to model work. His muscular frame and chiseled looks have seen him move into the male basque catalogue industry. Whether this is just part-time close season work until he gets a new job nobody yet knows.
WC 1075 + 240 stats in original posts = 1315