Tweet
Wolfsburg—Europe’s most pragmatic overachievers. Sitting pretty in 2nd place with 25 points, they’ve mastered the fine art of winning just enough without being too flashy. Their 8 wins, 1 draw, and 3 losses scream "efficient but not too ambitious," like a student who aims for a solid B+ instead of stressing over an A.
Their goal tally? A modest 19, because why waste energy scoring when you can just defend well and let the opposition beat themselves? With only 11 goals conceded, they’ve essentially built a fortress—probably out of sheer stubbornness rather than tactical brilliance.
Meanwhile, Benfica sits above them with 30 goals scored, making Wolfsburg’s attack look about as threatening as a mildly annoyed kitten. But hey, who needs goals when you can grind out wWwDwW results like a team that refuses to lose, but also refuses to entertain?
The real challenge? FC Porto breathing down their necks, just one point behind, ready to snatch second place at the first sign of a Wolfsburg slip-up. And with Ajax lurking at 20 points, things could get awkward if Wolfsburg suddenly forgets how to defend.
meanwhile……
Borussia Dortmund—14th place, 15 points, and playing football like they just remembered the season started. With a 4-3-5 record, they’re doing their best impression of a mid-table crisis, where winning and losing are equally likely, and drawing is just a fancy way of wasting everyone’s time.
Let’s talk about that goal difference: 0—27 scored, 27 conceded. A perfect balance of chaos, as if their attack and defense are locked in an eternal battle to cancel each other out. Scoring goals isn’t the problem; keeping them out clearly is. They’ve let in more than every team in the top 12, which explains why they’re slumming it in the lower half of the table despite their attacking efforts.
Their recent form? dLWlDl—a mix of hopeful wins, painful losses, and draws that serve no real purpose. It’s as if they’re allergic to momentum. One step forward, two steps back, and an occasional “meh” in between.
The good news? They’re only two points away from 9th, so if they accidentally string together some wins, they might actually climb the table. The bad news? With their defense, they're just as likely to slide down and start keeping Sparta Prague company.